What’s in my Makeup Bag?

Make Up 3
1. Maybelline The Falsies Mascara. 2. Smashbox Eyeshadow Trio in Litho. 3. Smashbox Waterproof Liner in Bare. 4. Anastasia Brow Wiz. 5. Real Techniques Accent Brush, Base Shadow and Deluxe Crease Brush. 6. By Terry Ombre Blackstar Eyeshadow Stick in Misty Rock and Black Pearl. 7. Tanya Burr Lipgloss in Afternoon Tea. 8. Sephora Eyelash Curlers. 9. L’Oreal Super Liquid Eyeliner.
Make up 1
1. Nars Sheer Glow Foundation. 2. Real Techniques Blush Brush & Buffing Brush. 3. Nars Blush Stick in Orgasm. 4. Mac Studio Fix Powder. 5. The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer Highlighter. 6. Kevin Aucoin The Sculpting Powder.

Make up was probably my first true love. Make up or Gareth Gates, I’m not really sure which came first. There’s something so magical about it. The sleek packaging, how tiny every separate piece is and the endless possibilities it can lead to. The way that dogs feel when you take a tennis ball out of your pocket, that’s how I feel about make up.

However when my depression started my relationship with my slightly out of control lip-gloss collection became slightly muddled. At my worst even the idea of make up sent me into a tizzy. I could barely look at my face in the mirror let alone spend any time trying to make it look any nicer. My body image issues were already so bad that the thought of spending any amount of time actually focusing on my face felt like it was just going to make it worse.

After about 6 months of barefaced living I was starting to feel a tiny bit better and I began to fill my still sleepless nights with YouTube videos. I want to do whole post on the world that is YouTube and Youtubers because I think it is a truly extraordinary thing but if you’re not already familiar with it then I highly recommend Zoella, Tanya Burr and Louise (sprinkleofglitter).  That was where I started anyway and after months of avoiding my mirror in the same way that most people avoid Piers Morgan, these girls began to change the way I was thinking.

Hearing them talk about mascara and moisturizers and eye shadow, as silly as it sounds, reminded me how much joy these things used to bring me. In my head make up had become something bad, all about vanity and trying to impress other people, and seeing as how I had very few people in my life at that time it seemed pointless to engage with a world that was all about looking good on the outside.

But as I watched more videos and began to dip my toe back into my makeup stash I started to realize something quite different. For me, make up has nothing to do with other people. And now, when I put my make up on, it feels like one of the most loving things I can do to myself. I’m not rejecting the way I naturally look, or trying to cover anything up, I’m just using the tools I have to enhance the things I already (sometimes) like about myself. It’s like when superman puts on his cape, he’s still superman without the cape, but the cape shows the world just how awesome he really is. Make up’s a way to express yourself, it’s a way to show yourself that actually you have really beautiful eyes, or an amazing smile, and if it takes a slash of eyeliner or a bright orange lip to make you believe that then it’s definitely worth it. There’s a quote in Castle (which is an amazing TV show by the way) that says ‘Make up makes us look beautiful to ourselves. That’s what makes us look beautiful to others.’ And I couldn’t agree more

So my love affair with make up is back on (think of us as Ross and Rachel post break). And I might start talking about it more on this blog, because when it comes to make up I have a lot to say. But for now here’s what’s in my make up bag at the moment, and yes, it’s all very dirty, because I’m a person, and I actually use it.

Have a lovely day,

Scarlett.

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13 thoughts on “What’s in my Makeup Bag?

  1. I feel the same way about makeup. I don’t do it for anyone else. I do it for me.

    Is the L’Oreal eyeliner the one you were recommending not too long ago on Twitter? I have had rotten luck with liquid liners; I like the ‘felt pen’ type but they always seem to dry out way too quickly. The ‘brush type’ frankly intimidates me. Thanks!

    1. Yes it is and it’s AMAZING. It’s like a felt tip but has a dipping pot thingy so it never dries out (until you finish it). I’ve tried a lot and this is definitely the best one. x

  2. Couldn’t agree more, Scarlett! So glad its not just me who feels like this. Sometimes people are very quick to judge why women use makeup…labelling women who choose to as ‘high maintenance’ or having ‘low self-esteem’. I always feel better with make-up than without! x

  3. I love your posts! They are deeply personal but universal to us all… You are very clever. xx Bel, (your godmother)

  4. Hi Scarlett, as my teenage daughters start to experiment with make-up (they’re huge fans of Zoella et al) your blog was great for me to read. I’ve been unable to square in my head why I love make-up and feel better wearing it, but at the same time worry that my daughters are trying to cover themselves up. You’ve just cleared things up for me with your clever words. Thank you! Laura x

  5. Hi Scarlett I completely agree with you here. I used makeup a bit like armour when I was younger. I had horrible acne from 15 and was on various medication which made my skin red and sore and dry. So I probably had it caked on. There was also a bright turquoise eyeshadow phase but the less said about that the better!
    Nowadays I’m more natural about it, and I could probably leave the house without any on, but I wouldn’t feel…me. Like the best bits of my face aren’t being presented in their best way. And we all deserve to show ourselves to the world in the best light don’t we!
    Love the blog, keep it up!
    Kirsty xx

  6. You look amazing!!! And that’s the truth. Seriously. You’re cool and you look BETTER than a model. I’m trying hard to be happy with how I look too and I’ve only just started experimenting with make up!

  7. Thanks for sharing – I love to see what other people are using BUT…Have you tried MAC Superslick liquid eyeliner or MAC Haute & Naughty Lash mascara? THE BEST!!!!!!

  8. So pleased to read that your love affair with make-up is ‘back on’ and I especially enjoyed your description of the anticipation and thrill of make up as, ‘The way that dogs feel when you take a tennis ball out of your pocket. Brilliant! However, what’s most striking about this post is where you take your readers – from the contents of your make-up bag to your perceptions and insights into how you can use it to allow the outer to reflect (or to coax out) the inner.
    I’ve just read down through your last 5 posts or so and I’m blown away by your honesty in writing about your experience of depression and anxiety. Speaking out in the way you do is extraordinary because it offers a space for others to identify/learn/empathise/understand – from the inside out. You’re a brave and beautiful person Scarlett.

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