Here’s What the REAL Cast of Love Actually Look Like Now

It has come to my attention that an article has been published on popular website BuzzFeed titled ‘Here’s What The Cast of “Love Actually” Looks Like Now’. NOW I don’t know who writes for this so called ‘BuzzFeed’ but they obviously have never seen Love Actually as they failed to include several key members of the Love Actually cast.

Before you start panicking I have emailed BuzzFeed asking for a revision to be made to the article and also asking they stop posting news articles as lesbeehonest ain’t no one going to BuzzFeed for news.

You can read the slanderous article in full here

Until they evoke these changes on their so called ‘website’ I have taken the liberty to make the amendments to the article myself and have included them below.

love-actually-web

Scarlett Curtis as The Second Lobster. Scarlett found that after her stand out role as the second lobster she was unable to escape the inevitable type casting that comes with such notoriety. She has gone on to play numerous lobsters in hit films such as ‘I Fell in Love with a Lobster’, ‘The Soft Heart Beneath the Tough Shell’, and ‘Lobsters on a Plane’.

Jake Curtis as Spiderman Wise Man. Following his role as Spiderman Wise Man Jake was offered the titular part in the film Spiderman which eventually went to Toby Maguire. He rejected the role, choosing instead to pursue a career as a religious leader. He states that it was the nativity story scene in Love Actually that led him to the Lord and every year him and his congregation don spiderman makeup as they re-enact the birth of Jesus in live time over a 40 day period.

Patrick Delaney as Claudia Schiffers Son. Back in 2003 Delaney was the breakout star of Love Actually but with great fame comes great responsibility and the adoring fans soon went to his head. Patrick fell into a dark hole of meth addiction, public streaking and Twitter rants, but after 5 years of scandalous behaviour his on screen mother came to the rescue and Claudia Schiffer adopted him as her child. He know lives with Schiffer in her house in Notting Hill and runs support groups for young men who played supermodels sons in Christmas romantic comedies.

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